Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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