I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
