The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
