Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
