singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
