Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
