it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
