time to smoke my breakfast
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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