Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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