the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
