Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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