Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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