shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
