i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
