are you still at the devil's house?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
