Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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