Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
