are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
