You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
