I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
