i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
