i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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