opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
