So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
