I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
