He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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