Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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