but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
