In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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