i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
