Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
