Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
