We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
