R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
