can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
