I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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