its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
