he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
