What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
did i just pee glitter
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
