She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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