Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
