so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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