I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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