What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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