Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't turn off my feet"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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