we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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