I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
