he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
