I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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