Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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