So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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