Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
